horsedoc2008 (horsedoc2008) wrote in artists_cafe,
horsedoc2008
horsedoc2008
artists_cafe

Testament


Picture courtesy of i183.photobucket.com


by

Nick Carlton


We each stand on opposite sides of a precipice, wind blowing back
Through your hair like shimmering waves of liquid silk, yet chilling my
Heart like an icy hand wrapped 'round it, between us lay the yawning
Depths of a deep, yet familiar canyon filled with shards of broken glass
That glitter in the fading light like a million jewels of beautiful death...

Your eyes catch mine and hold them in an unwavering stare, and
Hypnotized am I by your beauty as I have always been, yet so much
Time has passed, so much pain rendered, but here we stand together 
Again, hearts beating in anxious rhythm, wanting, needing, yearning
For everything we once held dear, once held sacred in our lives...

We put the past away, or tried, and moved on with our lives, yet I
Never forgot the sound of your laughter, or your smile, which shone
So brightly it put the sun to shame, nor did I forget the way you
Touched my soul with soft and loving abandon, giving everything,
Holding back nothing, surrendering yourself to only me...

I thought you had forgotten, thought our love was not as strong
Nor as immortal as it seemed and yet, not a single day passed
When my mind did not drift to you, that thoughts of you did not
Make me smile or brighten up my day in some form or another,
When hope that you still cared did not bring tears to my eyes...

You reach a hand out to me across the valley, an expectant
Look upon your face, a gentle smile playing at the corners of
Your mouth, such an easy  temptation is this, one step, one
Leap of faith and we could resurrect the past, renew a love
That even the Gods upon Olympus were in envy of...

Your outstretched hand wavers in the wind like a gentle flower,
Beckoning, promising, making my heart contract and skip a beat
So much love have I for you, yet guilt weighs heavily upon my
Shoulders, guilt for the breaking of a heart so pure and undefiled
That no degree of punishment could ever appease or suffice...

Yet love still shines out from your eyes like a beacon, offering
Hope and solace, a sheltered inlet where I may drop my anchor
And breathe deeply of the sweetly salted air without need to watch
My back for those wretched few who would seek to harm me or
Inundate my soul with false promises and  blackened hearts... 

And then you say my name, it is picked up upon the wind to
Fall softly against my ears like delicate music, I close my eyes
Tightly as an onslaught of emotion overcomes me, wave upon
Wave of bittersweet memories that come crashing in like
Breakers on a storm tossed beach, assaulting all my senses...

Like the beating of a million wings, they clamor within my
Head and I catch my breath, with a single word you have
Captured me, a willing suppliant who would gladly die
A thousand deaths within the warm and impassioned
Comfort of your arms, but still with an aching heart I hesitate...

How can you forgive me for all that I have done? How can your kind
And gentle spirit still love a man like me, whose words were steeped
In prevarication and wrapped within a lie? My love for you was always 
True that much can never be refuted, but can you truly find it within
Yourself to acquit me for all the pain and suffering I have wrought?

I open my eyes and your eyes are penetrating, questioning,
Seeking an answer, seeking anything except the pain that seems to
Flow between us like an invisible thread, have I forgotten? How
Could I have when every breath I took was filled with you? When
Every fiber of my being was infused with the power of your love?

This is my testament, the validation that you seek, my love for
You never died, never waned nor was forgotten, I still hold
Tightly to the rope with gnarled and trembling fingers, refusing to let
Dreams die or memories fade into the darkness, and now you
Have come to me, a maiden fair with a bruised, bleeding heart...

How can I turn away? How can I not feel your tears and see the
Anguish on your beautiful face? I struggle not to confuse you,
Because confusion only causes pain, and pain is what I have
Left you with, but tis you my love who must decide, who must
Make the choice to take me back or let me go...

Sweet torment rages through me now, one word and I
Shall make the leap, another and I shall fade away into
The murky darkness from whence I came, no more to
Cobble up your mind nor wrench your heart with worry
And confusion, tis you, my love, tis you who must accede...

I will stand like this forever, a grizzled knight with tarnished
Sword ready to defend, to protect, to die if need be, for nothing
In this world means more to me than you fair maid and the love
That we once knew, so heed this feeble testament as a poor
Attempt to convey my deepest love and devotion for you alone...

Throw wide your fairy net my love, and haul in this ragged soul
Who loves you more than life itself, a thousand times have I paid
For my errant ways and sins, a thousand nights spent dreaming
Of your arms around me, a million tears of remorse and penitence
Have I shed and a million unspoken words have I suppressed...

In humbled silence do I stand awaiting of my fate, heedless of the
Icy wind that cuts through me like a knife, I can feel only your inner
Warmth and sacred love surrounding me like the banked and
Welcomed warmth of a midnight fire, this is my testament, my
Soul unbound and opened to the freedom that is you and I...

 
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